The Answer Is Simple- Love Yourself, Live Your Spirit! by Sonia Choquette

Author:Sonia Choquette [Choquette, Sonia]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: ebook
ISBN: 9781401923471
Publisher: Hay House
Published: 2008-09-01T07:00:00+00:00

Engaging a wise heart is more than simply controlling your emotions—it’s also accessing higher reason to guide you through tough situations.

Betty engaged her wise heart when she divorced her cheating husband, Edward, after 13 years of marriage. Even though she was enraged by his transgressions and at times wanted to hurt him for the hurt he caused her, their seven-year-old twins adored their father, and Betty didn’t want to destroy their world or their relationship with him. So, as difficult as it was for her, Betty acted wisely: She forgave her husband for his betrayal and never spoke an unkind word to or about him in front of their children during the divorce proceedings and afterward. She held her feelings in check and only shared them with her therapist. She exerted extreme self-control out of love for her kids and a desire for her own peace.

Edward, in contrast, tried to justify his behavior by attacking Betty. Then he attempted to minimize his actions by giving her excuses and blaming her. Next came gifts and promises. She steadfastly refused to react. He then distanced himself from her and became confrontational and argumentative. Still, she remained calmly and wisely detached. She simply said, “I love you as a person, Edward, but I no longer choose to be your wife.”

After two years of this conduct, their divorce was finalized. In the midst of it, Edward asked Betty for forgiveness, and she gave it to him. In the end, they actually became genuine friends. As a result of Betty’s wisdom, Edward stopped attacking her, blaming her, and feeling ashamed of his actions and simply admitted that he’d been too immature to be a good husband.

During this time, Betty realized that she had been too controlling to be in a healthy partnership, especially with someone so immature. To be so controlling left little opportunity for her spouse to have much genuine influence over the marriage. She learned to step back, admit her vulnerabilities, and allow others to be there for her. This all took a lot of honest emotional work on her part, but it was worth it.

After the divorce, Edward moved a block away from Betty and stayed closely involved with, and committed to, his sons. Betty continued therapy and remarried a far more mature man five years later. Edward and the new husband eventually became friends, and now they all vacation together.

This was only made possible by Betty’s ability to be wise throughout her divorce rather than “right.” She looked at the bigger picture in lieu of righteously choosing to be “wronged” and battle it out with Edward or punish him for her pain.

The way to engage our own wise heart is through prayer and faith. To do so, we need to give up control and surrender our personal will and perspective over to the Divine. Wisdom is a spiritual gift that lies in all hearts, waiting to be activated. We must step back from our egos and consciously engage our timeless higher selves.

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